Embrace the Fear

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This is the face of a very happy lady. I rode my bike 5 miles! I’ve had my new to me, bike for 2 weeks already and this was my first outing!  This might seem like a No  big deal to the majority of the world, it is a huge deal to me. The last time I really rode a bike was summer of 2009. I was beyond sick, Doctors had just decreed that I was dying, with only a few months to live.  All I wanted to do was feel the wind in my hair and the view of pavement gliding beneath my feet. It was my first act of FUCK YOU DISEASE, YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME.
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     Since that summer, I have worked hard to heal, worked hard to stay healthy, you would think that biking would some way be a part of this process right? Nope, the fear of getting hurt, has outweighed the freedom of movement. Here is where my fear has been based:
1) Sometimes riding a stationary bike would cause more pain in my joints, than taking a kickboxing class. ( HELLO!!!! Rebecca, riding a street bike feels totally different)
2) I have had numerous friends and family have really horrible accidents bike riding in the last 7 years – broken collar bone, broken neck, hit by a Semi-truck, and torn ligaments and those are just a few of the accidents people have had. It can take my body sometimes 4 times longer to heal than a “normal” persons.
3) I can not control bumps in the road, other bike riders, cars or even my own feet some days ( gravity storms, get blamed for a lot of tripping).
    Which really breaks down to I need to give up control and trust myself, ( OUCH) when I go bike riding ( or really every day) , trust my instincts, trust my ability to protect myself, and trust my desire to live. Trust my heart to let go and fly in the wind, trust that my body will protect my knees and properly engage the muscles needed. Trust ME enough to not let the fear win.  Fear is not something I need to out run, it is not something that I need to be afraid of, it serves a purpose, I can embrace it and realize the purpose and move forward or I can let pride get in the way and live there. Today I took a step forward in embracing fear, embracing my life and embracing freedom. AND IT FEELS AMAZING.
xoxo
Rebecca
What are you going to do TODAY, to Embrace the Fear?
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Vegan Scallops

Vegan Scallops

When I was in L.A. last, my darling girlfriends( you know the ones – you don’t get to see each other often, but when you do it’s like you have never been apart and time just flies)  and I got together to make lunch and laugh (there may or may not have been tears of laughter rolling down our faces at times).

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My girlfriends are G O R G E O U S!

Monica is vegan and had posted a photo of these mouth-watering vegan scallops…

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Welcome to your 40’s – ENJOY IT.

Happy Birthday

A few weeks ago I celebrated my 43 birthday !!! Each year that passes it feels a little sweeter, a little more special, each year I get a little more thankful for being able to live another moment, day, week, month, year. This year – I freaked out a bit about turning 43 – it shows that I am well and truly into my 40’s. I had to come to grips with a few matters that I really had tried to deny about being in your 40’s as a matter of fact I argued with friends, these things were simply not going to happen to me:

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Rosemary PineNut Brittle

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Photo by Fit Food Fresh

                   Photo by Fit Food Fresh

       I really love Pine Nuts and Rosemary together, I could eat them with everything, stuffing made with sourdough, pine nuts and rosemary, stuffed into a roasted lemon chicken, oh what about an arugula salad with roasted rosemary pine nuts and some goat cheese with a pomegranate balsamic reduction dressing… or with roasted brussel sprouts and local bacon… OK, you get the picture. I could most likely design an entire meal based on these two ingredients and be perfectly happy.

                Pine Nuts with their crunchy and buttery textured, are small edible seeds of female cone in a pine tree. Turns out they are a very good source of plant derived nutrients, essential minerals, vitamins and “heart friendly” monounsaturated fatty acids that help benefit in reducing cholesterol levels in the blood!

                                                                                    YAY PINE NUTS!!!!

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Welcome to our Jewelry Line!

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I never thought I would want to design jewelry again, no that’s not true, I never thought I would be able to handle the tiny bits and pieces it takes to create jewelry again. I had kept a box full of pieces and fixtures for the last 10 years, after closing down my jewelry line — it was sold in boutiques and a few big name stores, but once again life kind of knocked me out, so I closed it all up, then I got sick and never thought it would be a viable option.

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Battle for Life part 4

When it hurts to much to touch, but both of your love languages are touch, you find a way.

When it hurts to much to touch, but both of your love languages are touch, you find a way.

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

      Relief was a long time coming, if I am honest with you, it would take 24 + months, countless test, countless drugs, bad news every time we walked into a doctor’s office. More tears than anyone should cry. There never have been answers, and honestly I am thankful for this, because I can’t be limited or defined by a disease or illness ( which is important as life goes, on with work, insurance, and so much more!). I am wonderfully created and my body works in perfect harmony, start telling yourself this every single day.

      It was nice to have my Mum taking care of me.  She truly is amazing and I am not sure I would be here without her, strength, grace and hours of storming heaven for me. Love Never Fails, Mum.  There would be nights I would cry out without even knowing it and my mom and Sid were praying over me, just sitting with me. I think they took turns sleeping in the room with me, sleepless nights became a normal for me, I would be awake 48 straight. When your entire body is in pain, your brain does strange things. Like refuse to rest, refuse to turn off, refuse to quite thinking the worst. Continue reading